Title: Unrequited

Part 3

Author: Lizzie

Rating: R

Content: Not a lot besides some very light m/m and a whole bunch of total silliness.

Part 4

Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. They belong to WWF and Titan Sports. No copyright infringement intended.
__________________

Jay woke the next morning with Jeff draped haphazardly over his chest
and for a second he had no idea where he was or why he was in bed
with Jeff Hardy. Then it hit him, what had happened. Come to think of
it, he'd been dreaming about it. An unexpected development. If he
could really dismiss sleeping with Jeff as something so simple as an
unexpected development.

He couldn't say he'd never thought about Jeff that way before that
night - okay so he could, but he would've been lying his ass off. He
was pretty sure everyone must've though of Jeff that way at some
point. But he'd never actually entertained even a moment's thought
that one day he might really find himself in bed with im. For one
thing there was Matt, and the fact tat if Matt weren't around then
Jeff would have a queue of both sexes a mile long waiting for a shot
at him. Jay had always been fairly sure he'd be pretty far down on
the list, too. And then there was their friendship. Lately that had
been seeming more and more important to him. Would he really want to
jeopardise that for one night?

Well, apprently he had. Because there he was with the younger Hardy
fast asleep across his chest.

he was kind of surprised that Jeff sleeping on him like that didn't
hurt. It wasn't cutting off his circulation in awkward places,
either. Actually, he was quite comfortable. Not quite as comfortable
as he'd felt with Adam, but still pretty darn comfortable. And for
some reason he found that mildly unsettling. Probably because he knew
there was something slightly wrong with the situation. It was justr
completely wrong. Completely. Jeff was supposed to be with Matt. And
Jay was supposed to be alone pining after Adam.

It was about then that he started to panic. It seemed like he was
panicking more and more lately, and that definitely wasn't a good
thing; ity just reminded him of how screwed up his lifet had gotten.
And lying in bed naked, with a naked Jeff Hardy, was definitely
screwed up. He'd gone and fucked up his friendship with Jeff on top
of everything else, he was sure of it. He just wanted to get the hell
out of there as fast as his legs would carry him and never look back.

But then Jeff was waking up and he'd lost his chance to run. One
tattooed arm stretched out over him, a head of multi-coloured hair
circles, stretching out his neck. Lips nuzzled softly against the
base of his neck then smiled, eyes flickering open and fixing on him,
tired but content.

"Morning, Jay", Jeff yawned. Jay frowned and rubbed his
eyes. "Something wrong?"

"I was just sure you were gonna call me Matt for a second there".

Jeff smirked and kissed him quickly on the forehead. "I think I can
tell the difference", he said, rolling his eyes and slipping out of
bed.

"I know, I guess I'm just paranoid".

"Yeah, I can tell".

Jay found himself watching Jeff as he walked across the room, scooped
up the first clean clothes he came to and headed into the bathroom.
there'd always been something about the way Jeff moved, a weird sort
of careless, carefree mix between a cat and a small child, that made
him seem both vulnerable and strangely, intensely alluring. He'd
slept with him. He guessed it was okay to stare.

He'd slept with him, with Jeff. It seemed kinda weird just to think
it, never mind to know it was true. And Jeff hadn't thrown him out,
hadn't rejected him, hadn't thought he was someone else. There was
something suspiciously satisfying about that.

The shower roared into action and Jeff poked his head round the door.

"So, you coming in here or do I have to drag you?" he asked, a wicked
grin on his face.

Jay smiled and got out of bed.

***

"Oh, hey Jay".

"Uh, hey Billy".

"Matt said it'd be okay if I tagged along for breakfast. Hope you
don't mind. You don't, do you?"

"Yeah, I mean no, that's uh, fine. By me. Fine".

"Great. I mean, I didn't want you to be, uncomfortable. I could
always go eat with Lance and..."

"No, seriously Billy, it's okay. Matt and Jeff and Amy'll probably be
down soon. Probably".

"Yeah, probably. So, uh, how you doing? Haven't really seen you to
talk to in a while".

"I've been kinda busy. I would've caught up with you before but I
was, well, busy".

"Yeah, me too. So you're doing okay then?"

"Never better. Look, Billy... I never meant to, well, hurt you,
y'know. Y'know?"

"Yeah, I know".

"Good".

"But you did. Hurt me, I mean. You hurt me, Jay".

"I swear I never meant to".

"I know you didn't. It's in the past, okay. It's fine. It's just...
fine. Let's just forget about it. Where the hell is Matt, anyway? He
said he'd be right down".

"He'll be here. Hey, Billy? Are you okay? I mean, really. Are you
okay?"

"No. No, Jay, I'm not. I'm a mess. I'm falling apart without you. Is
that what you wanted to hear?"

"Is it true?"{

"Of course it is".

"I'm sorry".

"I know. But that doesn't make it any easier".

"Hey guys. You okay?"

"Yeah, uh, no. Look Matt, I'm gonna go eat with Lance and Shane,
okay? I'll see you later".

"Huh? Billy..."

"Please, Matt, just let him go".

***

Aside from the messy confrontation with Billy, it was a decidedly
uneventful day. They packed, chatted, took a plane to New York,
unpacked, chatted. It wasn't really anything particularly out of the
ordinary. Except that Jay's mind was occupied the whole day. Usually
he didn't have too much of a problem just switching off to go with
the flow, but he just had too much to think about, too much going on
in his head.

He was back to rooming with Jeff again. It hadn't really been
discussed, but somehow everyone had just taken it as read now he
wasn't with Adam. Matt had muttered something like 'guess I'm rooming
with Amy again, huh?' as they'd walked into the hotel lobby and while
Jay tried to apologise he'd just looked like he was having a hard
time trying not to glare. Jay understood. Not that it made him feel
any easier around Matt with everything that was going on, but at
least he could say he understood.

All he could think about when Matt was around was how he'd betrayed
him. Matt was his friend. He had been since he'd joined the
Federation. He'd always been there when he'd needed him, been a true
and unwavering friend, and how had he repaid him? By sleeping with
his lover. He seriously hadn't been prepared for all the guilt. That
on top of everything else was almost more than he could stand.

And then there was Billy. He hadn't counted on running into him like
that, and he'd been hoping maybe he'd be feeling better about the
breakup by now. Except obviously he wasn't. And the whole thing
really was all Jay's fault. There was absolutely no denying it.

Dinner in the hotel dining room was too much for him to face; he made
some lame excuse about having a headache and wanting to get an early
night and evetually Jeff gave in and left him alone, however
reluctantly. He took the opportunity to hop into the shower and wash
away that familiar spent-the-day-travelling feeling. Then he lay in
bed for half an hour trying not to think.

When Jeff got back he wasn't in bed. He was sitting at the table,
slumped over it, trying to write. There were balled-up pieces of
hotel stationery all around him, on the table and the floor, none
having hit the litter basket as he tossed them across the room.

"What're you writing?" Jeff asked, leaning over his shoulder, curling
an arm around his waist.

"A letter. At least I'm trying. But nothing seems right. It won't
come out right. This is all I've got".

He passed Jeff the piece of paper. He knew all he'd written on it
was 'Dear Adam'.

"Jay, for Christ's sake, stop torturing yourself!"

"Huh?"

"Will you get it through your thick Canadian skull that it's not your
fault? Adam's being an asshole and he's trying to make himself feel
better about being an asshole by blaming you. Don't act like I'm
telling you something you don't know already. So, Adam's being a
prick. Maybe he'll come round and maybe he won't. Worrying about it's
not gonna help. And writing him some note telling him you're sorry or
whatever you're trying to say will just make things worse and you
know it. So will you just put that pen down and kiss me?"

Jay kissed him. He dropped the pen onto the table, turned and kissed
him, and Jeff started tugging him over to the bed. He fell over with
Jeff on top of him, grinning and tugging at his boxers. There was one
thing he could say for Jeff at least. Not only was he insatiable but
he had a knack of getting his mind off his problems when he least
expected it.

Jay gasped as Jeff broke off the kiss and looked up at him.

"We really shouldn't be doing this", he said between gasps.

Jeff nodded. "I know. But I don't see you going outta your way to
stop me".

"Don't you feel guilty?"

Jeff sighed and sat back over Jay's hips, leaving off biting at Jay's
nipples and rolling his eyes. "Of course I do. But it's not like
Matt's not sleeping with Amy while they're sharing a room".

"So you're using me for revenge?"

"No, I just figure if Matt can do what he wants when we're not
together then so can I".

"Wouldn't he be pissed if he knew?"

"No doubt. Look, Jay, are we doing this or not?"

"I just don't want to come between you and Matt".

Then suddenly the look in Jeff's eyes changed. He didn't move but it
almost felt that way. He lay his hands flat on Jay's chest, a wry
smile forming on his face. Jay felt queasy.

"You can't", Jeff said softly.

"I can't what?"

"Come between me and Matt. Jay, I love him. He loves me. No matter
what we do or how pissed we get at each other, we're always going to
be together. You've got to understand this. Nothing's ever going to
come between us. Not you, not anyone, not anything. What we have is
too special for that".

Jay nodded. "I understand".

"Do you?"

"Yeah, Jeff, I think I do. And I think I ought to be leaving now".

***

"Jay?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go".

"Hey, it's okay. Come on in. Can I get you anything? Is something
wrong? What is it?"

Jay sighed and stepped hesitantly into the room, wandering over to
the bed and sitting down slowly on the edge, dropping his bag to the
floor at his feet. When he looked up, he looked up into a pair of
familiar brown eyes, filled with concern. He sighed again and closed
his eyes, rubbing them one by one with the heel of his hand.

"There's something wrong, Jay, it's obvious. Is there something I can
do?"

"I don't think there's anything anyone can do".

"Maybe talking about it would help".

"I can't talk about it. That's not 'I don't want to', that's 'I
can't'. I'm sorry, I'm not the only one tied up in this. They'd hunt
me down and use me for fish bait if I told you".

"It's okay. Can I get you anything? Is there anything you need?"

"Well, no. I just... Billy, could I stay here tonight? I'll
understand if you say no, but I've got nowhere else to go. I don't
even have a car. I just..."

"Sure you can stay. Of course you can. I'll talk to Lance and get him
to stay with Shane tonight".

"If it's a problem then..."

"It's not. He's done this to be often enough, I think it's about time
I had a turn at kicking him out. I'll be right back, okay? Just need
to call in on Lance. Don't go anywhere. You'll... you'll be here when
I get back, right?"

Jay nodded and just about managed a smile. "Yeah, I'll be here", he
said.

Billy grinned and disappeared down the corridor.

***

Jay couldn't believe what he was doing. It was a bad idea, he knew.
In fact, it was more than a bad idea. This was the most stupid thing
he could've done under the circumstances, short of going to Adam and
professing his undying love. Actually, compared with this, going to
Adam might've been a good idea. At least then he wouldn't have been
sleeping with his ex.

He was turning into a slut. A complete and utter slut. He'd been in
bed with three guys in as many days, and none of the results had been
particularly good. Hopping out of bed with seriously attached Jeff
and right into bed with Billy I'm-still-in-love-with-you Kidman was
so not a good idea. But he'd done it. And now he felt lousy.

When he'd left Jeff's room he'd had absolutely no idea where he was
going to go. He'd wandered around the hotel for a while, wondering
who he knew there, who he knew in New York, if there was anywhere
else he could go. And evetually he'd come to the conclusion that the
only person he could go to in the entire city was Billy. He was the
only person he knew well enough to go to and beg a bed for the night.
He hated having to do it, but he really had no alternative. And he
certainly hadn't been planning to share a bed. That had been the
furthest thing from his mind.

Honestly, he had no idea how it happened. It seemed that one second
they were reminiscing and catching up, and the next Billy's tongue
was down his throat and he was pulling Billy into bed. He didn't know
whose idea it had been or how he'd let himself go through with it.
All he knew was that he'd done it, and that it was a bad, bad idea.

And now there he was, lying awake at 3am in a room with someone he'd
left two months before who he was pretty sure still loved him and
would take this as a sign that he wanted to get back together. He had
no idea what he was going to do. Just when he'd thought things
couldn't get any worse, he'd fucked up yet again.

But for now there was nothing he could do. So he closed his eyes,
swallowed the panic and pretended that those weren't Billy's arms
around him, that he wasn't feeling Billy's breath against his throat,
that he didn't have Billy's head resting on his chest. Even if he'd
hate himself for it in the morning, he just wanted to pretend for the
night. Maybe for a while he could pretend he was with Adam.