Title: Tender

Author: Shakito
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. They belong to WWF and Titan Sports. No copyright infringement intended.
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Pain is the center of my universe.

It's swept all other concerns, emotions and even thoughts aside, in waves of molten agony. My body is one big bruise. Even my hair hurts.

I can't believe I'm crying. Me, a grown man. A supposed tough one at that.

Well people can think what they like...but I'm not tough, not anymore anyway. Which is why I'm currently bawling like a baby.

It's totally pathetic. I know that, but I can't really care.

Caring means feeling, and feelings can be so easily hurt. That's exactly what happened to me..but wait a minute here. I don't want to go down that road again. It hurts to much, and I'm in enough freakin' pain already.

I guess I'll just lie here and suffer. I'm good at that at least. It's thanks to all the practice I've had. "Adam"

The whisper is so soft its barely audible, but it drags me out of a sound sleep nevertheless, because it comes from his mouth.

The desire to see him, to drink in that vision is strong enough to almost kill me, but I resist it. I have to, or else lose myself in the depths of his eyes.

"Adam. Don't do this to me"

I almost laugh. How backward he has that sentence. I'm the innocent one in this relationship...that is, I was in the relationship we used to have.

"I know your awake Adam"

Of course you do. That's why you've gotten the point and fucked off somewhere else. Somewhere far away from me.

"I just came to see how you are"

Yeah, and I'm the freakin' Queen Mother. You were sitting right next to me when Dr. Bates spelled out my medical condition, you lying jerk.

"Okay. If that's the way you want it, fine"

It is, you two-faced piece of...my line of anger-inspired insults is thrown into disarray when his hands settle on my lower back, and begin slowly massaging my much abused flesh.

I almost bite my tongue off in the effort to stifle my moan of pleasure. Damn him. Damn him and his incredibly skillful hands.

Hands that know my body better than I do. That know just where and how to touch me.

As his fingers work on all my knotted up muscles, he begins to hum. It's very quiet, done under his breath, but the rhythm echoes in my heart.

It's our song.

At least, the song that used to be ours until we broke up. Until he dumped me.

He broke my heart, and I hate him for it. I'll never stop hating him. He destroyed my life. And he destroyed my chances of finding someone else. I know I could never be as happy with another man as I was with him. So now, thanks to him, I have to go through my life miserable and alone. It's not fair. It's just not fucking fair.

"You remember when we first danced to that song?" he asks in an all-together too casual voice.

Like I could ever forget, I think. I also wonder just what he's hiding from me this time. That tone of voice always precipitates an unpleasant shock.

"I remember" he continues, as his fingers work their way up my spine, releasing knotted muscles with deft ease "We were in that nightclub in San Fransisco, celebrating our first match as a proper tag-team"

"I suppose you remember what we were both wearing too" the words trip off my tongue. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just a sucker for pain.

"We wore pink jeans" he responds quickly "And it was the last time I let you do the laundry"

Fuck, he remembers. I don't know whether to be upset or pleased.

"Will you talk to me now?"

I let out a sigh as his fingertips press against my left shoulder blade, and a particularly ugly knot of muscles.

"About what?"

He hesitates ever so briefly, then. "I want us to get back together"

"Fuck off"

"You could at least hear me out"

"Not interested"

"Why?"

"You want reasons? Cause I could give you a long list"

He sighs.

"I'm sure you could"

"Why'd you really come up here, Jason?"

He doesn't answer at once. His fingers work at the base of my neck in silence, and I can actually feel my headache dissolving.

Finally he speaks.

"I knew..that you were in a lot of pain, and I thought I could help you with it" a pause "I am, aren't I?" If you mean has my back stopped feeling like badly tenderized meat. If you mean I'm approaching a state of total bliss...

"Yeah" I respond, grudgingly.

He laughs a little. A sound that fills my heart with joy, and stabs knives into it at the same time.

"Then at least let me stay and give you a full body massage"

"What's the catch?" I wince inwardly at the suspicion in my voice, but damnit, he's the one who put it there.

"God....Adam, when did you ever become so suspicious?"

"About five months ago" He sighs.

"Okay. I deserved that" I snort.

"Fucking right you did. Now answer the damn question"

"You..you don't know how hard it is for me to do that"

"Look Jason..I've just been in the most fucked-up match of my career. Virtually every muscle in my body is screaming in pain, and the last thing I need is you fucking with me" the words came out more harshly then I had intended, but that was just tough buns for him.

"Alright...okay" his voice and his hands falter for a moment, then he clears his throat and speaks "Adam...I..I want you to forgive me" "What?" Startled, I rolled out from under his hands and sat up against the headboard. Instantly our eyes met, and I felt myself falling into those soft, dark brown depths. Hastily I looked away "What are you talking about?"

He reached out, and before I stop him, grabbed my hand.

"Us"

I shook my head. "There is no "us". Us ended five months ago when you cheated on me"

"You don't know how much I regret that"

The sadness in his voice pulls at me like a magnet, and I find myself lifting my gaze to his face. A face with tears slowly trailing down its cheeks. My heart wrenches, and tears, completely unbidden, spring from my eyes.

"Jas..I mean, Jason, please don't do this to me"

His brow furrows. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? I thought that that would be fucking obvious!" I shook my head, snatching my hand from his grasp "Look, I really don't want to talk about this right now, okay?"

Jason opened his mouth, no doubt to utter an angry retort. I braced myself, but all he said was. "Fair enough" then he actually got up off the bed, and standing, dragged a hand through his unruly blond hair "I think I'll..I'll just be going. See you tomorrow"

I blinked. "K. Seeya"

When he'd left, and I was lying in bed with my blissfully pain-free back, I couldn't help thinking about what I had seen in his eyes. A look of pure, determination.