Title: Silence Fills My Ears

Author: Sarah

Rating: PG

Content: Mild Reference to Slash

Disclaimer: Characters don't belong to me. They belong to WWF and Titan Sports. No copyright infringement intended.
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Silence fills my ears, only my pale breathing breaks the eerie noise of nothing, shallow breaths cracking the world around me. Gently I roll over onto my back, the sheets not daring to make a noise beneath me, their soft satin feel caressing my bare skin of my legs and arms. Blinking, blue grey circles begin to distinguish the air around me, making out shadowy images that cast themselves across the room. With a deep sigh I tilt my head to face the closed window, closed as always. Night spills into my room, unwelcomed, unwanted, I don't know, but neither the less, always night. Darkness only cast out by a fighting, yet dwindling light that struggles in vain to cast though the shut glass of my window. Silver rays, small, yet able to cast shadows that hunt the room, little light fights in vein.

Another breath, another noise cracking the silence that fills this strange abounding room, my room during the depths of the night. My head turns back, my body straight as blue grey eyes stare up at a lifeless ceiling. A roof that always peers down at me, though sleep and wake, always watching me, never resting like I. I blink again, staring up at the boondy above me. My naked body covered with sheets of satin, caressing, tingling my bare skin, yet I do not feel it's pleasures, I can't partake in it's smooth, sensual feel. Barren, dead, I run my muscular arm along the sheets, nothing, just the smooth feeling of the cold, forever cold.

I miss him, them, one, both of them, what do I miss? The love, the compassion, the gentleness of the touch, or do I miss the strong power, the roughness, the care hidden in a veil of harsh words, of cruel actions? Do I miss the one or the other? Silence, forever silence, wide awake, so awake in my world of loneliness. In a single breath, forever pleading for their return, yet I drove them away, my actions scared, petrified, they're gone, and I, left forever alone.

He was my lover, my friend, my tormentor. Hidden in a veil of cruelty, of harsh words and actions he loved me and I loved him. Our love, no words needed to express how we felt for one another, a true bond so close that even I believed the world could not tear it apart. We felt, conveyed, spoke so much for one another, not letting anything harm the other. His body against mine, as we gave our all, were free in front of each other, his body colliding against mine, as he forced me, played with me, taughnted me with his actions. God I loved him with every inch of my heart.

My heart, aching, ever painful heart.

Yet I loved him also, the quieter, the softer of the two. He was the one that would wrap me in his strong arms, let my pain and grief spill from my body like a waterfall. Long tender arms, wrapping me up deep inside of him, a touch caressing my tear stricken face. I loved him like no words could even express, our bond unbreakable, yet so different to the other bond I shared. So safe, my life, my existence safe, protected as I rested in his arms, I could dose and wake knowing that nothing would have changed God I loved him with every inch of my heart.

But now my heart, silence it's only companion, as I lay here, my world, I am forever alone, silence my only companion now.

Both souls my lovers, but one my brother, I loved with equal passion, yet in such different ways. My dear lover, the brutal cruel lover, our bodies intertwined in a passion so wrong. Against all laws of man, yet as we lay together, joined, we love like two angels. The other, my brother, my comfort, to his arms I retreat with life is to harsh, to cruel. In his arms I long to be, only his arms could rid my world of silence.

Blinking back into my sad reality, marbles of blue, forever lonely focus briefly on the ceiling above as two single tears fall, one for my brother, the other for a friend. Each tear, so tiny, unique in shape, yet holding within it's fragile walls such emotion and loss not even an ocean could compare.

Shadows, my sole reminder of their love, I have killed them both, or perhaps I have killed myself. My soul crushed, condemned into loneliness, as I bickered and argued filled to the brim with jealousy. I drove them from me, into each others arms. My jealousy, only condemning me into this world of shadows and silence.

I Christian forever trapped in my world, and now I am forced to embrace it, like the lone memories my lover and my brother.